Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
