I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
