we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
