We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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