just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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