WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
