It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
