She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize