i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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