he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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