But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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