I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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