These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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