I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
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That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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