She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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