oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I still have a little drunk in my system
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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