I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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