Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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