I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize