Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize