Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
