I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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