Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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