she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
