So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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