i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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