Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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