You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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