Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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