How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
