Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
