It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
