No awkward lesbian experiences without me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
