Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
