Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
