That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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