ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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