Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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