You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think my tv is drunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
