Ambien. No doubt about it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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