"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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