My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
