Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
