I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
