Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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