Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
