Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
