So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize