just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
