More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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