i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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