:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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