party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
