is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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