i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
