do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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