I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
