Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
