I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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