If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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